How to Explain Surrogacy to Your Child: Back-to-School Edition

You might be just getting into the full swing of things for summer with your family, but in-person back to school is just around the corner! This means your child will be surrounded by other children, and if there’s one thing we all know about kids it’s that they have inquisitive minds and like to ask a lot of questions.

Even though it may not be widely known that your child was born via Surrogate, there is always a chance that your child’s classmates will find out and start to ask your child questions, especially if you have raised your child with the knowledge of their unique birth and they mention it to their friends.

Some children will be more receptive to this information and will simply continue on, treating your child no differently. Others might have more questions that will be satisfied with a few more answers; still others could react as though this makes your child different from them. No matter which of these it is, ensuring that your child is prepared to give a simple and clear explanation will be important, and we’ve outlined a few ways to do that below.

• Emphasize to your child that they were born purely out of love and generosity; that their parent(s) already loved and wanted them so much they did whatever was necessary to have them, even letting another person carry them in her belly. Tell them that as they developed in the Surrogate mother’s belly, they were surrounded by the kindness and generosity of the Surrogate for carrying someone else’s baby in their body.
• Explain the process in a way that young children will understand, so your child can convey their birth story to their classmates simply. Tell your child that your belly wouldn’t work to grow a baby, and so you needed to borrow someone else’s belly.
• Give your child “The Kangaroo Belly” book written specifically to explain surrogacy to children; when they show this book to other kids their age it will be a fun way to learn with animals and imagery.
• Most importantly, be positive with your words and actions when equipping your child with explanations that they may pass on to their classmates. Children will be receptive to positive information.

For gay parents who had a baby via Surrogate, you may decide to address other aspects of their birth and equip them with further answers and explanations for classmates who ask about them having two dads and being a Surrogate baby. We have a few tips on how to approach this discussion and some answers to provide in our blog post on Gay Parents Raising Happy Kids.

No matter how you choose to approach the topic of surrogacy with your child and preparing them for interactions on the topic with their peers, your parental instincts will help guide you. The best advice we at Simple Surrogacy can offer is to show your child love and support through this journey, and together you’ll figure out the rest! Contact us online today or by phone at 1-866-41-SURRO and our team will be happy to answer any questions that you have.